#the way i kept pausing the film to walk around bc all these relationships were so oppressive to see and the atmosphere was suffocating

[falsenote]

Time of Indifference (1964)

[vibraniumwing]

soft.

a bucky barnes x fem!reader wherein the reader comes home to see the super soldier with a toddler tucked in his lap.

WARNING: none! (all mistakes within the story are mine)

A/N: soft and domestic (and clingy) bucky, anyone? i’ve written this with tfaws bucky in mind after episode five where he was on the couch and smiled after seeing sam’s nephews. so yes now i present to you bucky with a child bcs we need that content, ,, good bYe for i shall be drowning in my own feels.

---

“Do you really have to go, doll?” Bucky asked, watching you by the frame of your shared bedroom door with his hands crossed against his chest. A heavy sigh heaving from his lips as his eyes observed you pick out a shirt to wear, hands grasping on his black shirt and opted to wear that; a small smile formed on his lips as you slipped into the clothing piece, adoring how big it looks on you.

You turned to him with your hand on your waist, an eyebrow raised, “Unless you want to starve for a whole month then fine I won’t go to the grocery” you say teasingly, checking yourself out in the mirror before walking up to him, arms linking around his neck loosely; his hands circling around your waist in a protective manner as he pulls you into him. “I won’t be gone for the whole day, James.”

He groaned softly, wanting nothing more than to accompany you but seeing that you were going with your mother, he opted out. “You always say that then be gone for the whole afternoon.” he grumbles in between the kisses he gives you. “You and your mom take so much time at the grocery store.”

You threw your head back and laughed, finding his small whiny state adorable. You retract your arms from behind his neck and cupped the sides of his face, squishing his cheeks gently. “You sound like a child, Buck. I promise I won’t be long. Besides, you have Alpine to keep you company.” you motion your head to the sleeping cat on the bed.

“Now please let me go so I can leave now and be back sooner.” you tell him, pressing one final kiss to his lips before ducking out of his embrace, making your way to the front door and grabbing your car keys before turning back to see him standing behind you with a small pout on his lips (albeit he would never admit to doing such an act),

You grinned and walked up to him, reaching up to press a small kiss on his lips. “Sometimes it's hard to believe you’re this big scary dude that can take twenty men down in a course of ten minutes when all I see is this big baby.” you tease, a hand snaking up to the back of his head to play with the ends of his hair softly.

“Doll wait before you go” Bucky starts off, holding onto you, cheeks lightly flushed as he hesitated with his words, clearing his throat lightly before looking away, “Can you set up that damn Netflix thing on the TV before you leave?”

Your gaze on him softened even more and nodded, leading him to the living room and set the whole thing up for him, handing him the remote right after. “I’m guessing you can manage now?” he smiled shyly, the area around his eyes crinkling as he nodded. “Yeah, I will. Thanks, doll.”

“I’ll be back later, I love you, Buck!” You bid him a goodbye, looking back at him from the door and gave him a small wave, the male waving back before focusing on the TV, searching for that one movie you suggested he watch.

“What was that movie called again? RIght, The Breakfast Club”

---

Not even half-way through the movie, Bucky had somehow fallen asleep on the couch, not finding the first few minutes of the film entertaining. He somehow fell deep into slumber that he didn’t even notice the front door of the house opening until he felt something being placed on his stomach.

He stirred awake and the first thing his blurry vision could make out is the outline of a toddler sitting on him. “Hey James, I’m leaving Hugo with you and Y/N for the weekend. Our babysitter cancelled out last minute and I’ve been trying to call my sister but she hasn’t picked up any calls.” Damian, your younger brother said in a rush, putting down your nephew’s baby bag on the coffee table. “Thanks James, we owe you one.”

But before Bucky could get a say in any of this, Damian was already out the door and the sound of a car pulling away was followed. Barely half-awake, he stared at the tyke who was staring right back at him with his innocent E/C doe eyes. “What do I do with you?”

He takes Hugo in his arms as he sits up, placing him on his lap, his metal arm reaching over to pause television. “Y/N’s better at this than I am.” he mumbles, watching the child look around the room before he started to fidget on the larger male’s lap, wanting to roam around.

Bucky sighs, “Now why won’t Y/N answer her calls?” he asks the tiny human who was still staring up at him. He reaches over to grab his phone and dials your number, only to hear it ring from the other side of the house, inside your room. He dropped the call and placed his phone inside his pocket, now wondering what he could do to keep the small person alive.

“Usually Y/N deals with you.” He says, watching the small child struggle on his lap, clearly wanting to get down. Bucky finally gets what Hugo wanted to do and sets him down on the carpeted floor, watching the toddler (wobbly) walk around the space freely.

Seeing that the child was doing alright after finding a small fixation with Alpine who was now resting near the couch, he returned his attention back to the TV to resume watching the movie. His attention split in half as he continued to glance back at the kid who was now playing with the toys you had brought him and kept at in a basket in the corner of the living room where you deemed it “Hugo’s Area”

Bucky was finally getting into the film, entertainment written all over his face at the sight of the students dancing around the library until it morphed into one of concern when a small bonk followed by a loud cry resonated the room making him look over at Hugo who was already flushed from crying.

He paused the movie again and rushed over to Hugo’s side, taking the small boy in his arms, cradling him on his lap as he tried to calm him down. “Now kid, don’t cry on me. C’mon” he mumbled, raising him up lightly to look at his forehead as he searched for any wounds, relieved to find none.

“C’mon James, what would Y/N do…” He said to himself, standing up as he moved around and cradled the crying child, trying to remember what you would do whenever he has meltdowns like this.

“Oh god, right!” Bucky exclaimed as he remembered, quickly going to the couch and sat down, placing Hugo on his lap as he gently placed his vibranium hand on the back of his head and his flesh one cupping the smaller one’s cheek, wiping the tears that glistened on his smooth skin.

Seeing how the toddler was starting to calm down, he carefully spoke, “Now you gotta work with me, little one.” Bucky then proceeded to blow softly on his face, remembering how you would do that when Hugo was having a fit. “Now can you do that for me as well?” He asked, encouraging the child with a small smile.

Once he felt the kid do the same thing, he repeated the steps a few more times until he was completely calm, letting the child snuggle up against his chest, feeling how he would occasionally let out a small shuddering sob from time to time, making Bucky laugh at the adorable action. “Now what do you want to do?” he gently asked, the cold surface of his metal hand that caressed the child’s back making small bubbles of laughter elicit from the baby.

“Bucky wead [ read ] pwease?” was all that left the two-year old’s mouth, causing a small surprise from the older. Hugo then pushed himself off from Bucky’s chest and turned to his small corner of the room, raising his small arm and pointing his even smaller finger towards the bookshelf that was filled to the brim with story books.

A chuckle left the soldier’s lips, “Alright then, little dude. Go take your pick.” he then proceeded to let him down and watch as the toddler walked his way towards the array of books and picked out one, running back towards him with a big smile.

“Alright big guy, what do you have for me?” Bucky asked, taking the tyke in his arms once again, taking the book from Hugo’s hands. He let out a (very) fake gasp of excitement which made the toddler laugh out loud as his reaction, making small little wiggles of his own eagerness for the book.

Bucky shifted in his seat a little to be more comfortable, letting Hugo snuggle up to him as he opened the book and started to read, “Llama Llama, red pajama, reads a story with his mama.”

---

You were elated to finally come back home and fall into your lover’s arms from a long day of errands with your mom. After the Target trip with your mom, you had to drive her back home and help her with her own groceries and pack up everything with her over at your childhood home一 with an addition of having a few serious talks with her about your future.

“Seriously, Y/N. When are you going to give me a grandchild?” Your mother poked your sides as you helped her bring in the bags filled with her stuff. Ever since Damian introduced Hugo to the family, she’d been on your heels about when you and Bucky would bring one to them as well; admittedly you and him had been in a much longer relationship than Damian and his wife which surprises everyone even more.

You shrugged, rolling your eyes in a playful manner. “I don’t know, mom. I think I’m content being with Bucky for now.” you answered truthfully, setting the items on the kitchen island and turned to her, “Besides, we have Alpine! Our cat!”

This made your mother sigh, laughing softly at your antics. “I know my sweet girl, but I’m just so excited to see a little you or James run around with Hugo.” Her answer causes your heart to swell at the thought of starting a family with him some day; conversations like this with him are normal but are always caught in a fleeting moment so you were never certain about his opinions on the matter.

“Well you just have to wait and see, ma.”

Taking the bags in your hand, you walked over to the door and opened it with ease, expecting to see Bucky waiting for you on the other side only to be greeted by none. Your eyebrows were furrowed as you carefully stepped inside, assuming he had fallen asleep as he waited for you until you heard his quiet voice resonating through the living room. “Little llama, don’t you know? Mama llama loves you so”

You peeked at the source of the sound and what you saw made you just melt on the spot. Bucky had Hugo on his lap, your nephew playing with the thumb of his artificial arm as he listened to the story that he was barely paying attention to as he was already falling asleep.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment, you graced on over to the kitchen in silence and arranged everything as quiet as you can. The smile on your face growing bigger at the thought of how much of a good father Bucky could be; the sight of him with your nephew caused a thousand butterflies to dance around in your stomach freely.

“You’re back, doll?” Bucky’s quiet voice made you jump, head whipping to his direction where he stood with Hugo fast asleep in his arms.

You nod and walk towards him, offering to take him from his arms and Bucky disagreed, pulling away from your attempts. “Hugo’s with me, I’ll take him to bed and I’ll help you finish out here, alright?”

Chuckling softly, you agree and reach up to place a quick kiss on your nephew’s forehead, moving aside so Bucky can place him down inside your room.

You were folding up the plastic bags when you felt a pair of arms sneak up and circle your waist, capturing you in a back hug. Your back was flat against his chest, the warmth from his body making you relax in his arms. Turning around, you let your arms snake up around his neck, your hands playing with the ends of his hair, his physique visibly loosening up. “So your brother came here earlier and said you weren’t picking up your calls.”

“I forgot my phone, i know.” you told him, throwing your head back slightly to let out a soft groan of annoyance at yourself before looking back at him. You met his gaze and his eyes were filled with adoration and love with a spark of something you can’t seem to pinpoint. “What’s going through that head of yours, James?”

He hummed softly, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, “I was just thinking of how I want to have a family of my own with you.” he answered truthfully, not finding anything shameful in admitting his thoughts. “The afternoon I spent with Hugo made me realize I want that for us as well.” his words were soft and dripping with enthusiasm at the thought of being with you for the rest of your days.

This made your cheeks flush lightly, a happy smile resting on your lips as you were already in agreement of his words, “I’ve been thinking the exact same thing, Bucky. I can’t wait to have our own little minion running around the house.” you admitted, this time making Bucky smile even wider than yours, happy that you had the same thought.

“Also, not to brag but I think I’m his favourite now.” Bucky said out of nowhere, grabbing the small carton of chocolate milk from behind you and letting you go, opening the drink and chugging it down in one go.

You rolled your eyes at his words, playfully flipping him off as you sauntered into the pantry where you were arranging your stock of goods. “I highly doubt that, he loves me way more.”

“That’s what you think but Hugo made me read his favourite book to him so now I’m his favourite. He even said it himself.”

“Oh no he didn’t!”

---

TAGLIST: @lunalovecroft @anchoeritic @harrysweasleys @https-bvcky @luana @weasleytwins-41 @angelsgrxzer

for those whose usernames are in bold, it means i cannot tag you for some reason. join my taglist! it's linked in the masterlist <3

[hangovercurse]

I’d Drop it All for You

Pictures of you and Pete are spread all over the internet, causing a whirlwind of hate to enter your social media.

Request: “Pete content please! anything !!! smut fluff whatever”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, depictions of depression and anxiety

A/N: *Insert normal spiel about respecting A.G. and only using her for plot purposes. No harm intended.* Also I wrote most of this after a meeting with my therapist so... enjoy :) (He’s so cute in this gif I wanna kiss his face)

Word Count: 1820

You weren’t one of those people who loved being the center of attention. You knew that being in the spotlight also meant constantly living under a microscope, and you decided a long time ago that that was not for you.

But you were lucky enough to work as an assistant art director at just 24. You were hoping that The King of Staten Island, your newest project, would help get your name out into the professional world. But that wasn’t the only thing to come out of the film.

It happened unexpectedly, you showed up on set the first day, ready to do whatever the art director required of you. You couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by the lead actor and writer, Pete Davidson. He was so kind and funny, and he wasn’t uptight like everyone else.

After a few hours of filming, he came up to you, introducing himself. He said he “wanted to get to know everyone working on the project,” but you didn’t see him introducing himself to anyone else. You two started talking during breaks. Then he started sitting with you at lunch. Then he was asking for your number.

In a matter of weeks he was asking you out to dinner, taking you to a cozy restaurant that you absolutely adored. He walked you home, his hand grazing yours until you intertwined your fingers.

It was all very romantic, so when Pete asked if he could take you on another, you obviously said yes. Flash forward two weeks and he finally got the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, even though you were both exclusively seeing each other already.

After filming ended 2 months later, you were still working on the film in post, which meant you had an excuse to stay  in Staten Island with Pete. After about 2 weeks in post, you spent more nights in his bed than your hotel’s.

Nearly 6 months later and you were happier than ever. You were splitting your time between your small apartment in the Bronx and Pete’s basement apartment. Pete introduced you to most of his friends, and you introduced him to yours.

But other than your small circles of friends, you kept your relationship fairly quiet. Pete doesn’t have social media and yours is strictly professional, so there are no pictures of you two together. You weren’t hiding each other, you loved each other, you just had no reason to tell tabloids. And you were perfectly happy with that.

Which made it so much worse when various news sites had pictures of you two holding hands. Had they been anyone else you would’ve thought they were cute, walking along the South Beach oceanside at night.

Pete had been in the SNL studio all day when the pictures were released, while you were in his apartment, trying your best to focus on the photoset in front of you. The production team wanted the film to scream “teen romance,” which basically entails subtle pink undertones and a higher saturation. But you couldn’t quite get the coloring right, probably because you weren’t actually focusing on the colors.

You sighed, looking at the time and realizing that Pete won’t be back until sometime after 2am, which was a whole 5 hours away. You let out a huff, pushing away from the desk and making your way to Pete’s closet and searching for one of his hoodies. They always smelled like him (and weed), so it was a comfort to you.

You crashed onto the bed, finding the phone that you had tossed there a few hours earlier. Turning it on you were surprised by the number of notifications you were getting. You knew the photos had surfaced but you weren’t expecting this.

Your Instagram was blowing up with new follows, likes, and comments. It was kind of exciting at first until you started reading some of the comments.

I mean, we knew he would downgrade from Ari, but this is like… really far down.

This girl really thinks she’s special just bc Pete’s dating her. Hun he could do so much better

Who is she?!? Literally no one.

Someone needs to show her how to dress

That hairstyle is not it honey

Pete Davidson is dating YOU??? He could do sooo much better

Ari was prettier sorry not sorry

The entire comment section on your last post, a picture of you on the set of your latest film, was pretty much the same. There were some nice comments, but a lot of mean ones.

And you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop looking at them. It felt so cliché, but it was like all of your deepest insecurities about being with Pete were thrown out on the table.

You knew that Pete had a fairly large following, and that a lot of people had really strong feelings about him. You had expected that if and when your relationship went public you would have a lot of people watching you, scrutinizing you. But you didn’t care because Pete was worth it.

Now you weren’t so sure. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle people talking bad about you, because you definitely could, even if it hurt. You just weren’t expecting the amount of people comparing you to Ariana or saying that Pete could do so much better.

And it only bothered you so much because you felt it too. Your inner demons loved to remind you that Pete had dated Ariana fucking Grande and now he’s dating you. Anyone could see an obvious downgrade.

You turned your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of the bed, trying to think positive thoughts. “I am in control of my own thoughts and emotions. I am catching my negative thoughts and fixing them.” You murmured your therapist’s mantra to yourself, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken hold of your mind.

Your eyes started to water as you could feel the heavy feeling in your chest set in. You pulled the hood over your head, pulling the straps to hide as much of your face as possible, and pulling your knees to your chest. You laid like that for a while, tears falling as doubts ran through your head. Once you had effectively exhausted your thoughts, you went numb. Your tears had stopped, but you couldn’t move. This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it sure wasn’t pleasurable.

There was a sort of buzzing throughout your body, almost like the feeling when your foot falls asleep, but everywhere. It seemed to block out your sound, as you didn’t hear the basement door open. You only knew that Pete was home when he sat beside you on the bed, pulling the hood off your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” He smiled at you. You tried your best to fake one back, but you honestly couldn’t find the energy. Pete pulled you so you were sitting up, back pressed against his front. His arms wrapped around your middle as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “What’s goin on?” He murmured against your skin.

“Did you see them?” You asked, your voice quiet and hoarse.

Pete let out a sigh, “Yeah, I saw them.” He paused, his hold on you getting tighter, like he was making sure you couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry baby. I know you didn’t want it to be a whole big thing.”

You turned your head to face him, “It’s not that. I really don’t mind that people know. We weren’t trying to hide anything.”

He smiled, “Yeah, I know I just- it was nice having this to ourselves.”

He wanted to hide you. He’s embarrassed of you.

Your inner dialogue never seemed to shut up.

You turned away from Pete, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “Yeah.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong, you’re still upset.” He rocked you in his arms, kissing the top of your head. You shrugged in response, not trusting yourself to talk. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

You nodded, leaning further into Pete’s chest. “People found my Instagram.” You murmured, looking down and tracing the arrow tattoo on his hand.

“Whaddya mean? I thought it was public?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

You sighed, wishing you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, it is. But after all the articles people started following me and shit.”

“I would ask how that’s a problem but I deleted my Instagram so I can’t really talk.” You could tell he was trying to make you feel better, but you couldn’t seem to get out of your haze.

You shook your head, deciding to drop the matter. “It’s not, I’m just being overdramatic.” You sighed, putting on a fake smile and facing him fully. “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked, trying to change the topic.

He gave you the I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me look, which made you look down. “Something’s bothering you, Y/N. And you’re trying to pretend it doesn’t because you think your feelings aren’t valid, but they are.” He tilted his head, trying to meet your eyes that were still trained on the bedsheets below you.

“Where’d you learn that one?” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“Rehab part 2” he smiled, hand coming to your jaw to tilt your head up. “C’mon, talk to me. I wanna help.”

You huffed, moving towards the opposite side of the bed where your phone laid. You opened it, finding your Instagram, and showing him the comments. His eyebrows furrowed as he scrolled through the comments. When he decided he’d had enough he put your phone down, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto his lap so you were essentially straddling him.

He leaned his forehead against your own, your noses touching. “That’s all bullshit, you know that, right?”

You looked down, biting your lip. “Y/N you’re the most amazing, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, okay? I’m in love with you, not anyone else.” Pete’s eyes were searching yours, trying to figure out what was going on in your head.

“I know.” You sighed, “It’s just hard to be with you and not compare myself to her. And then all these people started to do it too, and they kept saying that you could do so much better and you can. So, I dunno I guess I just kind of spiraled.”

Pete captured your lips in a long, passionate kiss. “Y/N. There is literally no better than you. I can’t do better because you are the best woman I have ever loved. “

You pulled Pete in for another kiss. “Thank you, Pete. I love you.”

“I love you too. If this happens again, I want you to call me. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’d drop it all for you.” You smiled, sitting in the arms of the guy you loved. The thoughts didn’t just magically go away, but for a brief moment in time, you were happy.

[pockyxx]

“ how the haikyuu captains confess ”

daichi x fem! reader, kuroo x fem! reader, ushijima x fem! reader, bokuto x fem reader and oikawa x fem! reader

genre: fluff.

daichi 

people already though the two of you were dating

he always does typical boyfriend things i.e holds bags, compliments, the only thing that was missing was  physical intimacy 

he’d be on the fine line of romantic and straight forward 

he kinda already knew that you knew he liked you 

he got the team’s advice on what to do but it was useless bc they’ve never been with a girl RIP 

“Y/n, I’m glad I caught up to you!” He seemed a little more nervous than normal but you brushed it off as just nervous for his up coming practice match. 

“Hey Daichi-san, what’s up?” You closed your locker, finishing up with your own club activities. The two of you continued to walk while also keeping up the conversation, Daichi holding the door open for you. 

Your heart slightly fluttered as you walked so close with them, wondering if today was the day that Daichi was finally going to confess. One of the first years had accidentally let it slip one day when you stopped by his practice. 

“Well, actually, there’s been something on my mind. It’s been on my mind for a while, honestly.” He stopped walking, nervously opening his backpack to grab something. 

You gave him an innocent look even though it’s been a moment you’ve been waiting for for a long time. 

“I like you, y/n. Like a lot.” He extended his hand and offered you your favorite candy bar, something that he always carried around with him. “I like when I get to see your bright smile, and your laugh makes me feel so warm inside. I just like the person I am around you and how you make me want to be a better person all together.” 

It had been clear that he hadn’t exactly planned what he was going to say but it was still meaningful nonetheless. 

“It took you long enough.” You flashed a cheeky grin, “Hinata told me by accident, I’ve just been waiting for you to finally spill the beans.” You laughed, filling his heart with joy. 

“So this means you’ll let me take you on a date?” He wondered, blushing and making a mental note to make the younger boy run extra laps. You nodded rapidly, taking his hands in yours, proceeding with your walk. 

kuroo 

have you seen how he talks to his team 

he would have his confession planned for a week 

He’d be rehearsing that shit in the mirror every morning

he’d probably get really freaked out the day of though 

when you say you like him back and confess in a similar manner he’s as red as a tomato 

he practiced on kenma and get his advice

“Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you-” Kuroo was instantly cut off by his younger friend who was still glued to his game. 

“You’re really going to finish off such a sentimental confession with a stupid chemistry pick up line. That’s gross.” He commented as Kuroo was left scratching his head. He’d been planning on confessing to you for a while now but was still stuck on what to say. 

“But she loves when I made chemistry jokes.” His face dropped, conflicted with what to do. Was his friend right? Do girls not like that sort of thing? 

“Well you better decide quick because her she comes.” You had turned the corner with all their refilled water bottles and his heart began to race up. What would happen if you said you didn’t like him back? It would create such an awkward relationship between you two; which wouldn’t be good between a captain and a team manager. 

“Here are your waters.” You passed both volleyball players their drinks as you rested your hands on your hips, “what were you guys talking about?” 

Kenma kept a straight face while Kuroo flushed slightly. Pressing a finger to your lips, you thought of a way to lighten the clearly tense mood. 

“You’ve defiantly being improving your serves, Kuroo-san. I’ve been keeping ion you!” You covered your mouth, not wanted to let out a laugh at such a cheesy joke. That was Kenma’s cue to walk off, giving Kuroo the thumbs up to proceed-- it was now or never. 

“Well, there’s something you should know too, chibi-can.” He swallowed any anxious nerves he had, “You make my heart flutter every moment I see you; you just take me breath away and not just because of you looks. I like how funny you are, and you always seem to put a smile on my face. I know this is very random but I’ve been holding in my feelings for a very long time and I thought I was going to explode not being able to tell you.” 

You smiled, bashing your eyelashes, you never knew your captain had feelings for you. Heck, your crush had feelings for you. 

“So basically, what I’ve been meaning to ask is; are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you?” He held his breath, wondering if Kenma was going to be right. His heart pounded even faster at the sight of your lips twisting to an even bigger smile (if that was even possible). 

ushijima 

it could go one of two ways 

either he could be super blunt and hit you with the ‘I like you y/n.’

OR it would be over the top and only because he consulted tendou

tendou’s probably watched a handful of romance animes and has ushijima prepares chocolates, flowers, the whole 9 yards 

ushi is just nodded and taking notes like... 

just confess to her at the summer festival, girls love that, bonus points if you do it under the fire works.

tendou’s words rang through ushijimas head as he walked side by side with you at the summer festival. he’d done everything tendou had instructed him to up until that point. he’s bought you the best taiyaki, he’d let you hold his hand as to not get lost in the crowd and he’d even won you a small stuffed animal that now rested under your arm pit.

“I think the fireworks are about to start.” you hummed as wakatoshi realized he needed to get into the right position.

“then why don’t we go someone more private.” he offered you a rare smile as your cheeks started to burn up with fluster.

it wasn’t like ushijima was a cold heart person but seeing him suggest something so thoughtful, your heart fluttered with the idea that someone greater was about to happen.

nodding, you let ushijima pull you off as the two of you got a better of the sky that was soon to be filled with a display of lights. he’d taken you away from the crowd, up on a small empty lot of gross that was elevated compared to the rest of the festival.

“y/n, I enjoyed tonight.” he cleared his throat, catching your attention. you nodded in agreement,

“hopefully we can go to more festivals today, of course if your not busy with volleyball!” you smiled happily. ushijima was quick to respond.

“I’d like that very much.” he paused, “y/n, i’m often told that i don’t show emotions well or that i’m very blunt.”

you watched him with curious eyes, stating that that wasn’t all ways a bad thing.

“that’s right. this is a time where i think it’s good to be blunt. you see, y/n, i enjoy spending time with you and that i like you, very much.”

bokuto 

it accidentally slipped out 

he always gets a little shy when he think about it so he simply doesn’t 

you’ll be something fairly mundane and he’ll just pause and go 

“you do that so well, that’s why I think I’m in love with you.” 

you’d get flustered because it was so out of the blue 

he’d fill akaashi in the next day and akaashi would make him re-do the confession

“You’re so good at cleaning the white board, y/n, but I guess everything you do is good because that’s why I like you.” You and Bokuto had class room chores together after school and he was watching you, in a hazy spell, resting his hand on his head. 

You blushed, not knowing if Bokuto was actually being serious or if he was just being overly kind. You just pretended like you didn’t hear him, continuing with what you were doing. If you can confessed your feelings back and he wasn’t serious, you would’ve died of embarrassment. 

“Bokuto-san are you going to help or not?” You turned around seeing Bokuto covering his face as he rested his head on the desk. “Uh, Bokuto-san are you alright?” 

He looked up at you only for you to see what you recognized as his emo mode. You frowned your eyebrows as he jumped up, bursting out with emotion. 

“No! I just confessed to the girl that I like and, and, and I wasn’t ready!” He grabbed his bag and ran for the door, “please forgive me for not doing my share of the work, y/n.” 

You were left speechless, watching as the gray haired boy ran away. You laughed realizing what he meant and put you into such a happy mood you didn’t even care that you had to finish all the chores. 

The next morning, you were greeted at the gates of Fukuordani by Bokuto who held a box of you favorite snack and a small teddy bear. Shyly extending the gifts out to you. 

“I bet you know what I’m going to say, so just, uh, please take these.” It had been what Akaashi had instructed and you took them with pleasure. 

“These will make up for all my hard work yesterday keeping out classroom spic-and-span.” You giggle, Bokuto looked at you with pouty eyes as you continued, “and if you didn’t run out so quickly you would’ve know what I like you too.” 

His eyes gleamed as you covered your slightly blushing face with your hand. Bokuto engulfed you in a hug and the two of you becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. 

oikawa 

he’s been confessed to so much that confessions make him nauseous tbh 

he’d make it very personal and romantic, though 

if not romantic he’d want it to be just the two of you 

he knew if he told any of the third years about if his plans, they’d ruin the moment; showing up to film the whole experience (mattsun and makki) 

he would secretly be the most nervous out of all of them 

You were helping Iwaizumi and taking over his cleaning shift with Oikawa. Oikawa was kinda glad the ace had a dentist appointment, so he could finally get you alone with out his team mates or fan girls there to ruin the moment. 

“Say, y/n-chan, I’m pretty lucky to have such a pretty girl helping me clean up.” His eyes were on the ball he was rubbing the marks off of, not really seeing your expression, defended by the sound of his heart thumping rapidly. 

You frowned, liking Oikawa was no easy task because everyone seemed to like him. Sure, he complimented you now, but he always compliments girls. It hurt your heart not knowing how sincere he was. 

“Don’t worry about it Oikawa-san, I’m always happy to help.” You sighed, finishing pumping a deflated volleyball. The Oikawa you had grown to love wasn’t the pretty, flashy volleyball player but the determined captain who always brought out the best in his teammates. It was the hard working, smart and passionate Toru that made your heart do flips. 

“Y/n...” His voiced trailed off, you noticed there wasn’t a cute little ‘chan’ following it. You turned to face him, not realizing your vision had gone blurry from tears pooling in them. 

“Are you alright?” Out of concern he placed his hands in your shoulders and that seemed to snapped you out of the spell you’d fallen under.

Rubbing your eyes, you nodded, looking down at your feet to avoid Oikawa’s gaze. You wished he’d let go of you, so you heart could just go back to its normal pace.

“Y/n did I say something to upset you—Im sorry.” He seemed to be holding his breath until he saw you shake your heard, reassuring him he’d done nothing wrong. Toru sighed.

“I hate seeing you upset, do you know that?” Surpised, you looked up at him, almost beckoning him to eleborate. Oikawas mind was racing— he wasn’t planning on confessing right there and then but he decided to sieze the moment.

“Out of all the girls I talk to, you’re the only one that makes me feel like this...” With your mouth gapping he took your hand and directed it to his chest where you could feel his rapid heartbeat.

“Oikawa-san...” You trailed off, at a loss of words. Between the hand touching his toned chest and the honey-like words coming out of his mouth, it sent you into over drive.

“Everything about you makes me crazy and-and well y/n... i like you!”

Nodding off, your brain couldn’t fully comprehend what your body was doing. leaning forward, reaching up to his lips you. kiss. him.

“Woah.” Oikawa breathed out, shocked at how you reciprocated his feeling until he was brought back to his usual behaviour, “so... you wanna go out with me?”

[serendipityseulgi]

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find. 

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between. 

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.” 

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs. 

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body. 

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox. 

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

 At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you. 

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life. 

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed. 

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!” 

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?” 

Of course you do. 

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.” 

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you. 

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh. 

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?” 

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod. 

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend. 

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time. 

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :( 

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

no

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

:(

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way. 

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics. 

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong. 

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving. 

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him. 

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before. 

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell. 

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss. 

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips. 

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust. 

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy. 

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you  know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you. 

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you. 

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him. 

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another. 

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates. 

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his. 

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry. 

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement. 

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half. 

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture. 

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.” 

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement. 

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly. 

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him. 

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules. 

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much. 

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him. 

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly. 

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her. 

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation. 

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too. 

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees. 

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it. 

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another. 

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?” 

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another. 

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you. 

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused. 

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home. 

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you. 

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...” 

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly. 

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table. 

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories. 

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup. 

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving. 

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia. 

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.” 

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home. 

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire. 

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you. 

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. 

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” 

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly. 

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit. 

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.” 

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.” 

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember. 

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?” 

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” 

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

 “For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another. 

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time. 

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

[arohasfiction]

Jealousy is an Ugly Colour on you...🌸

Hello Everyone!!! I just finished writing the first scenario for Sanha!!! It took my a while since I'm a bit busy but managed to finish it hahaha😄💕

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Pairing: Sanha X Female Reader

Gener: Fluff, Just Fluff bcs you know its Sanha we're talking about ^^

Word Count: 2106

A/N: ( Your lines are in Pink), ( Sanha's in Orange), (Astro's members in Purple) , and ( Astro members all together Characters lines in Bold Black)

And i used Prompts for this scenario, its my first time actually

" You're mine and I don't share, Jealousy is an Ugly Colour on you & I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new "

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Summary: You are one year older than Sanha and you were an Idol and you worked in the drama Field as an Actress too who works along with Astro at Fantagio, you debuted one year after Astro so they were your Sunbai's (Seniors) .

That day after the Artist awards, you met the boys after that in the waiting room, when Sanha called you to their room.

The Other boys went out and you two were left alone. " (Y/N)-ah noona, I have something to tell you, i wanted to tell you along time ago" he placed his hands on the back of his neck then said, "I love you". You froze in your place didn't know how to respond, you wanted to say something but words didn't come out. " yo-you don't love me?" He said nervously. " I-I love you too, sorry you surprised me so I didn't know how to respond, I love you too Sanha-yah". You two later Started dating secretly he told you that he will tell the hyungs in the right time. Sanha was a tall handsome boy with a boyfriend type looks ( a brownish soft hair), you didn't feel the age difference between you two though you were just a year older than him, he knew how much you loved his agyeos and the times he acted cute and how you like to bury your face in his chest when you cuddle together , so he usually did it just to see your smile. Your apartment was next to Astro's, so you always were their with them, chatting and playing.

That day no-one but sanha was there in the apartment, he called you and as soon as you picked up " noona, are free? If you are come here the hyungs are out, they won't come back soon", " yes I'm free just give me 5 min , and i will be there". You ended the call, put on your hoodie with shorts and went to their apartment. Since no-one is there you snuggled into him while sitting on the sofa, and he hugged you while palcing his head on yours, you two watched a movie together when your tummy made some weird noise. He laughed " pffffffttt , are you hungry??!" , You giggled at him and nodded then you said " Do you want some Ramyun?" And he nodded, before you got up from your place , he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to him, he placed his big palm between the end of your jaw and your neck while your hairlines were tangled between his long fingers, and gave you a soft kiss on your lips. Since you started dating you two didn't kiss alot because he was feeling shy bit and he was making sure that you go on slowly, but today he took the step first, you didn't expect it but you liked it and you wanted more, he pulled away and looked at you " You forgot the kiss hehehehe", your cheeks were on fire so you got up and went to the kitchen behind you, you started making the Ramyun and getting the ingredients ready, 10 min later you were observing the Ramyun while it was boiling when suddenly you felt two wide arms are warpped around you " babe, I'm too hungryyy now", " hehehe just 5 min and it will be ready" you said while turning around warpping your arms around him and giving him a hug.At the same time the boys entered and saw you two being fluffy to each other, they were speechless, suddenly Rocky spoke" What are you two doing?" You two got surprised and pullled yourselves away and looked at them with blushed faces. Later on, Sanha Explained everything to them, " What!!! 2 months already?!" Said Mj surprisengly. " Why didn't you tell us Sanha-yah?" Asked Jinjin.

" Heheh i wasn't ready but please hyung please don't let anyone else know about this " Said Sanha, then Eunwoo replied " Don't worry, now you two can act comfortably around here". You blushed on what eunwoo said and looked at Sanha while smiling shyly, The next day You were walking in the hall after coming out of the CEO office, you were chosen to be the female lead in one of the upcoming Dramas as a collge girl who experiences different kind of love in her life , you passed by the practice room and entered but, you found no-one there, " i guess they didn't come back yet, i will just wait here" , you played one of your favourite Astro songs which was 'Always You' and you kept singing along, 15 minutes later the boys entered and found you still listening to their songs and dancing along with joy, " ohh hahah you're back" you said, even though you perform on stage since you are an idol but you always felt shy if they were watching you especially Sanha. " I have good news to tell you all" you suddenly said while smiling widely to bursh off your embarrassment, you continued " I got the lead role in a drama hehehe" , Everyone congratulated you but for some reason Sanha was sitting quietly with a frown on his face, while the others were chatting together, you approached him, Sat right next to him and placed your hands on his hands, " What's wrong ddana? Is something going on your mind?" You asked him confusedly, " What type of drama is it?" he asked you without looking at you , " Its a Romance drama and i will be-", " is there mm- a... a K-kissing scene in it?" You paused for a moment at his sudden question but then you burst out laughing, " Pfffftt hahahha", " Hey While are you laughing I'm being serious!", " You are so cute,,,My dear ddana, i Haven't received the script book yet so i don't really know", Sanha pouted at your answer, then you looked at him came closer to his face " you're not jealous, are you?!?" You asked with a smirk on your face. " Of course I'm not why would i?!" He stood up saying and then went back to the boys claiming that they need to practice leaving you behind giggling at him being all jealous.

After one week every thing was settled, you got your role script and had a script reading meeting with rest of the drama cast ,few days later you started filming the drama , every thing went smoothy, particularly nothing happened with you and Sanha either until one day , "ohh ... sanha-yah..? What are you doing here?" You saw him in the back seat of your van, " I'm going with you to the shooting site" he spoke, you tried to act like its just something normal, of course you don't want your Manger to find out about your relationship with Sanha , you faked a small laugh and said " but don't you have practice?!", "No, it happened that we are free the whole evening so I'm coming along" , " but you have to-", " Don't worry i took the permission from Manger-hyung and Jinjin hyung" he cutted you, you weren't worried at all because you wanted to show sanha that you're not doing something wrong because you knew the reason behind him coming with you. You finally reached the shooting site , the scene that you was supposed to film today is about your character trying to help her kitty who ended up being on the tree , and you should fall off the tree, when the male lead see's you while he was passing by he catches you somehow. So the filming started after the director's 'ACTION' , you acted smoothly until the fall scene came, Sanha was watching you, As you fall, the male lead catches you in a bridal style, you both shared a long stare into each other's eyes ( this was what the script said), Sanha tried to hide his jealousy as much as possible but he finally couldn't stand watching and went somewhere else. After shooting you were sitting on a bench resting and suddenly saw Sanha giving you an iced mocha, " Here... Drink this, its from the truck that your fans sent it" he handed it to you without looking, you tried to scan his expression and it was really obvious, you could clearly see that he's jealous, " Sanha-yah are you feeling uncomfortable?" You asked " why should i ...omg don't tell me that you think I'm still jealous...ohh seriously??" He pretended, " shhhh they will hear us" you glared at him then you lowered your voice " but your face says something else" , he just shoved the drink in his mouth and walked away " Hey Sanha-yah!! Where are you going??!" , " I'm gonna take a walk... don't follow me" , you saw his back as he walks away.

Later,you came back to the dorms, the whole way back was filled with silence, as you and sanha were getting off the van you saw the boys approaching you both, " ohh (Y/N)-ah !! Good work today" they said to you and you did the same to them, Soon they felt the heavy atmosphere around you and Sanha, Mj suddenly asked " did something happened between you two?!", " Ohohohh hahah no why you're asking such things Mj-oppa.... Its just that i feel a bit tired heheh" you said as you look at Sanha, you grabbed Sanha's wrist and dragged him behind you " excuse us please we have something to do together hehehe" you explained, " hey we don't!!!" Sanha tried to pull but you didn't let go of him and took him to your apartment. As you closed the door you looked at him " Sanha-yah... Sorry for Saying this but you're such a baby... Why are you acting like that,,, did i do something that bothered you?!, please be honest with me", " NO NO!! I think the problem is in me Aish!!!" He said angrily running his fingers in his brownish hair, you could see that he's kind of flustered, you couldn't stand seeing him like that so you reached out your to hold his hands when you just realized that you are locked between him and the wall behind you, " The problem is in me (Y/N)-ah..! YES I'm jealous,, i can't stand seeing another man touching you" he said while looking stright into your eyes, " You know that we are just acting, there are no real feeling neither a meant purpose of touching its all fake!" , You said, Sanha lowered his head sighing but putting it up again saying "You're mine and I don't share" you knew that it wasn't the right time to get butterflies in your tummy because of his words but you can't help, your cheeks were all red like strawberries, he started blushing too after realizing what he've said " Are you blushing?", " No you are, shut up just stop staring at me like that" you shyly said looking in another direction Sanha wasn't staring now at your blushed cheeks but your lips, still locked between him and the wall he leaned slowly and pressed his lips on yours, you couldn't help but kiss him back, you warped your arms around his neck, one of his hands are placed between your jaw and neck, while the other one on the wall behind you supporting his body, slowly you pulled away but still close from each other's faces that your noses were touching, " Jealousy is an ugly colour on you" you said looking into his honey coloured eyes, he said nothing but pulled you in an another passionate kiss.

Later, you were both cuddling in the bed watching a random show on the Tv when suddenly Sanha started speaking, " Babe.." you hummed in reply, " I'm sorry", " for what?", " For being such a jealous baby earlier i really didn't mean it but i just love you so much and- " you cutted him with a peek on his lips, " its okay ddana... I can understand..i would probably acted the same if i saw you with another girl" you said giggling burying your face in his chest like you always liked to do , " (Y/N)-ah Noona, please don't fall for any men other than me okay??!" He said in an sad cute tone you raised your head up at him, " Sanha-yah, I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new", He didn't expect you to say that as his face went all red along with his ears, you laughed at him and he hugged you to cover you from seeing him blushing.

The End

[jennifersylvesters]

Can I have a 58 with Mr Osterfield himself combined with 63. As a fellow actress with Mr Holland in the Spiderman movies - and are secretly dating Harrison. But ... because you hang out with both Tom and Harrison - everyone - assumes that you are dating Tom - and it even gets to the point where news articles are written, paparazzi take your photos but sometimes leave Harrison out of the pic because everyone loves Tom and (y/n) together. Thank you 😘😘😘😘

i really just…do not understand the concept of short and simple. like, i read the premise that all you have to do is explain how you would combine the two ideas and yet…i chose not to fully follow those instructions??? anyways, this is not gonna be a full story like the first one i did, but it’s gonna follow the same format of bullet points and blurbs because sometimes i’m like “oof i like that idea”

58. accidental eavesdropping  / 63. everybody knows/mistaken for couple

People say that things change once you become a part of the Marvel family. And that was true. Almost overnight everyone seemed to have an opinion on you being the new Gwen Stacy. What did it mean for Peter and Michelle? Were you good enough of an actor to even be filling those shoes? You told yourself that none of it mattered; you were advancing your career and about to give a whole new perspective to Gwen Stacy. You were prepared to take on any criticism thrown your way and prove you were worthy. What you weren’t prepared for was falling in love with Harrison Osterfield.

You tried you best not to get distracted by him, telling yourself that he wasn’t a big deal. But it was hard not to fall in love with the blue eyed boy who made you laugh and more importantly made you happy.

Still, you were a fresh face to the public. Even with a number of miscellaneous roles under your belt, being “Gwen Stacy” was on a whole different level. You could deal with the scrutiny towards yourself, but you wouldn’t stand it for Harrison. So when the two of you finally got together, it was decided that the two of you would keep it a secret. The only opinions that mattered in your relationship was yours and Harrison’s alone. Both of you felt that it should even be kept from Tom seeing as he always ran his mouth.

But keeping things under wraps wasn’t easy. Apparently people loved the idea of you and Tom together. Tabloids loved the idea of the two of you dating, making outlandish claims that you moved in together or that you were jealous of Zendaya or any of his female costars. The two of you were close, sure, but the idea of dating him was essentially like dating a brother.

at this point you’re dismissing rumors left and right

people at cons are like “are you rooting for gwen to get with peter?” and you’re like “honestly, give me gwen and michelle”.

half of your interviews are you having to explain that men and women can be friends “sorry, i’m not trying to bone my costar. thank you, next.”

but news outlets keep insisting something must be going on because all you do is hang out with tom

what they keep missing is that you’re hanging out with tom and harrison. and the last person is who matters to you more

you always apologize about the press to him, and he’s just so understanding about it. he doesn’t have to be, but he gets that people just want to make money off a good headline

you still feel like it’s a little too much. but the paparazzi are insistent that the two of you have to be dating

And in some strange ways it made sense - you were swift to defend any criticism made about Tom’s actions or appearance from the public, never letting him get heckled by overzealous supposed fans. While you were friendly to most, you would snap at those who said anything insensitive to him and would quickly pull him away from harsh situations.

Due to Tom’s affectionate nature, you got used to his arm slinging around your shoulder and that he hugged you constantly. Sometimes when you were in a daze, you didn’t notice him pulling you in. It had no effect towards you, though it fueled the fire that the two of you were so obviously dating.

But none of it made you feel anything towards him - not the way that Harrison made you feel. When Harrison’s arm would wrap around your waist, you would lean into the touch. When Harrison hugged you, you would breath him in almost addicted to the feeling of being in his arms. And when Harrison smiled, your heart would warm knowing that he was yours. 

so it’s your birthday and naturally you wanna spend it with harrison

obviously he’s totally down for that

the two of you have a very low-key date, some unknown restaurant where you don’t feel like you’re completely sneaking around

and the two of you head back to your place

while the two of you are in the elevator, he starts getting a little handsy and you’re giggling bc wow okay this is a good birthday present

he’s like “i haven’t given you your gift yet, darling”

and you’re like “if you say that my gift is sex or blessing me with your presence, haz, i’m gonna kill you.”

he jokes “shoot. there goes that plan.”

anyways you’re unlocking the door to your apartment and he’s got his arms around your waist as he’s planting kisses along your face from the side

you open the door and he spins you around so that you’re having to walk backwards into your place as he kisses you

and you’re giggling as he kicks the door shut and you’re like “god i love you so much, haz”“i love you too, babe. happy birthday”

and what starts as innocent kissing turns into the start of a makeout session

it’s gotten to the point where you’ve managed to get harrison out of his shirt and he’s about to pull off your dress when he spots something out of the ordinary

you’re like “stop getting distracted - i thought you were gonna show me your package or whatever dumb sex innuendo you said”

he’s like “babe, did you decorate your apartment?”

and you’re like “listen, i’m not in the mood for interior decorating advice. i literally got sexy lingerie for this moment so are you gonna treat the birthday girl or what?”

“love, i’m not judging your taste. but why are there a lot of balloons??”

so you finally look around your place 

and he’s right. there’s confetti, streamers and balloons surrounding your apartment

you spot out of the corner of your eye a shoe that definitely doesn’t belong to you

so you walk over to see what it is and it’s literally jacob batalon in fetal position, obviously hoping you wouldn’t notice him

and there’s a bunch of other people that you recognize

you yelp at the sight of them because what the actual hell??

apparently tom and the rest of the spider-man crew along with some of your close friends wanted to throw you a surprise birthday party

tom only asked harrison if he was free that day, not saying what it was actually for, so harrison genuinely had no idea about the surprise party

and zendaya just happened to know where you keep your spare key so that they could get in and decorate

tom was so excited about surprising you that he decided to stream them on instagram putting the finishing touches and surprising you

except you surprised all of them

and tom was literally overwhelmed by the idea of you dating his friend that he never actually paused the camera

so he basically filmed himself quietly freaking out and eavesdropping on the two of you

and he’s also spilled to the world that you’re definitely not dating tom

but you are, in fact, getting it on the reg from harrison 

tom’s just like, not sure what to do

so he’s like “surpriiiise” v weakly and nervously

and zendaya’s like “tom!! stop recording!!”

the color from your face drains because good loRD HE’S RECORDING???

anyways it’s a v awkward end to your birthday

and at the end of the night when it’s just you and harrison

“Well, that was memorable” he chuckled as the two of you shared a pint of ice cream watching your favorite movie. He was in sweats while you wore your pajamas along with one of Harrison’s hoodies. 

“Sure, that’s a nice way of putting it” you rolled your eyes, still thinking about throttling Tom’s neck. 

“Are you mad about it?” he asked as he put the spoon in the cartridge, worried that you were more upset than you led on. 

You scooped up another bite, letting the spoon and the ice cream rest in your mouth as you thought about it. “No, not really” you concluded. “Obviously I didn’t want that getting streamed across Instagram, but I’m glad that I don’t have to keep us a secret anymore.” He smiled at this, pressing a kiss on your cheek. The two of you grinned at one another before turning back to the television. 

“Happy birthday, love.”

[buckymcbuttfacebarnes]

Hard to Read

pairing: cable (nathan summers) x reader

word count: 1892 

summary: y/n explores the interesting facets of her relationship with cable  (italics are memories)

a/n: this is just some shit i was writing to work on writing for cable bc i still feel like i dont characterize him as well as id like, idk let me know what yall think

@melodramatic-fratboi hope u enjoy<3

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Perhaps it was the way he walked that caught your eye. It was a healthy mix between a confident strut and a manly lumber; he commanded the attention of others with little effort. You liked that about him. Or maybe it was his voice, like the rasp and crunch of gravel beneath slow-moving tires. He spoke with little words in a slow and deliberate manner, as if he wanted to make sure you heard him—he did not like to repeat himself... It might have been his sheer handsomeness, the peculiar scars across his face, the metal that crept up his throat, the same metal that formed his left arm. He kept the shiny appendage on display with short-sleeved shirts, only a hint of the metal at his throat glinted in the light, most of it hidden away by his shirt’s crew neck fit.

“And that’s Cable,” Wade explained with a careless shrug of his shoulders. “He’s cool, kind of a dick, but you get used to it after a while.”

Cable glanced at the pair of you from a distance, as if he had somehow known that the two of you were talking about him. He gave you a half-smile and a wave that made your stomach flutter.

You knew from the moment you saw him that you had come face to face with someone that you would develop a fond fascination for, but the reason why was a complete mystery to you, to him. Whatever it was, whatever had drawn you to him, it had you hooked and you couldn’t get enough. Since you’d been admitted into the X-Force you found yourself striving to be near him, to talk to him, to know him. It was beyond the common, simply-solved physical attraction. No, it was something more curious, perhaps even more potent. It kept you at his side, constantly trying to pry information out of him.

Countless times you suffered through Cable’s tedious talks about his guns (to fulfill your simple desire of hearing his rumbling voice in your ears), only to be told, “Don’t touch that” or “Now stop asking questions, or get out”  in that coldly silencing manner of his.

“So what is this anyway?”

“Do you come into this room with the intention of making me dislike you?” He asked. “Because it’s working.”

You frowned, exhaling loudly through your nose. There was a brief moment of silence as you watched him fiddle with a couple of tools. “Really, though...What is it?”

“Get out.”

“What?

“You heard me, kid.”

“How am I going to learn anything about this stuff if you don’t answer my questions?”

“Y/N—”

“Okay, fine, fine. I’ll shut up.”

Other times you might settle down on the floor, next to where he sat on the couch and rest your head against his knee while he watched one of those westerns he liked so much.

He had been sitting on the couch when you settled beside him, opting for the floor instead of the couch. A few minutes passed before your hand went to his knee and after that came your head, resting tiredly against your hand. He tore his gaze away from the television to peer down at your crouched form. His insides seemed to tremble with a familiar warmth at the very sight and though you couldn’t see him, he smiled widely.

You felt timid fingers brush against the side of your face. His calloused palm then came to rest affectionately upon the top of your head. It lingered there for a long time. When it left you might have felt a little disappointed, had you not been brimming with joy.

At the beginning of it all, you had to wonder if he noticed you at all. Did he notice the way you looked at him? The way you hung onto every one of the few words that fell from his lips? Did he notice the way you strived to be beside him?

You certainly had no idea how much you intrigued him.

Cable had grown fond of you with a rapidity that frightened him. He found the way you hung upon his arm endearing, you were always near, breathing his air. Despite his naturally aloof manner, he strived to go out of his way to talk to you, and delight you. Oftentimes he would entertain your questions by giving roundabout answers in place of the straightforward ones that you so desperately sought after. He would  say things to make you laugh. At the times when you might settle at his feet with your head against his knee he would give you an unprovoked précis of the film (something you always appreciated) before falling back into his comfortable silence. He would smile down at you and his throat would grow inexplicably tight. Sometimes he would place his hand atop your head, a small way to reciprocate your doting mannerisms. It would linger there for a few moments before he would retract and he would sit back, recrossing his arms over his broad chest as if the sweet gesture had never occurred.

His feelings of fondness for you left him constantly praying that you didn’t mistake his harshness, a pillar of his dick-like personality, for distaste or indifference. He enjoyed your company and marveled at your beauty more than you probably were aware of. You stirred something in him that he had not felt in a long time. So why didn’t he just tell you that? He didn’t know how to. And even if he did, what conversation might warrant that type of declaration?

“Don’t put your feet on my pillows,” Cable grumbled, sending you a pointed look as he picked up one of his smaller handguns.

You were on his bed, lying on your stomach with your ankles crossed, propped up on your elbows. “I won’t.”

His eyes narrowed as he inspected his gun. “Good. I’ll kill you if you do.”

“That seems unnecessarily severe, don’t you think?”

“I gave you a warning, so now you know. If your sock touches my pillow, you’ll be dead before you can blink.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Since when are you that quick, old man?”

His deft fingers had turned the gun around smoothly in his hand in one rapid movement. He had the barrel pointed between your eyes in the flash of a moment.

“You wouldn’t,” you dared, a smug look upon your face.

He gave a humorless laugh, lips curling into a cruel smile. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do, kid.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

He paused, looking into those seemingly innocent eyes of yours. He knew it was all a hoax, the big innocent charade you put on. You were not as pristine and virtuous as you presented yourself as. He had grown to see right through it, and in moments like these, you made it apparent yourself. He brought the gun down begrudgingly, his eyes never leaving yours. “You know, Y/N...” he cut himself off, shaking his head as he placed the handgun down onto his desk.

“What?” you grinned, lifting a curious brow.

“Nothing.”

“Just say it.���

“No.”

“Cable, you might as well because I’m just going to keep—”

“Alright, fine. Jesus Christ,” he spat agitatedly. “I was just gonna say...You’re just, uh, you’re really somethin’.” The lie slipped through his lips quickly, for he couldn’t find words that would properly articulate what he truly wanted to say: I think you’re beautiful, and I’m into you.

Until he worked hard enough to conjure up the right words to say, he just had to keep hoping you wouldn’t grow tired of him and abandon the months and months of a relationship that the two of you had managed to build up. From time to time he’d see the annoyed expression (that he never audibly acknowledged) that would twitch at your features when he would grow needlessly snippy, yet you never seemed deterred. Annoyed and maybe a little pissed off, sure, but never discouraged. You, in ways that he was sure you were unaware of, were much like him. Snappy and argumentative. Some days you could be inexplicably agitated, maybe even a little bratty, yet you still hung around him and looked at him with eyes that made him feel like some sort of marvel to behold. He liked it, loved it, but it was highly unlikely that he might ever articulate that joy to you.

“Jesus Christ,” you snapped, shoving his hands away ardently. “You aren’t fucking funny, Cable. You’re an asshole.”

His dark eyes rolled upwards towards the ceiling and he groaned inwardly. “How come you can bother me all day everyday, but when it’s your turn you can’t fucking take it?”

“The difference is that I don’t bother you when you’re trying to get shit done!”

“Bullshit,” he spat.

“Just get the fuck out of my face.”

An hour later you plopped down onto the couch beside him, plucking a beer bottle from his hands, stealing it from his lips, and taking a swig before placing it back into his hand. When he moved to place an arm around your shoulders you jerked away, yet you remained close by his side.

Under his breath you heard him mutter, “You’re such a fucking brat.”

Luckily for Cable, it was progress and your own growing fondness of him that kept you at his side. Slowly, as your friendship began to grow and change, you had grown to know more and more about him. The movies he liked the watch, seemingly meaningless likes and dislikes of certain foods or television programs, his visceral distaste for dubstep…

“Dubstep is for pussies,” he reiterated for the thousandth time to you and Wade, who were standing side by side, defending the speaker behind you that blasted the loud seismic music. He appeared he was ready to throttle the both of you, there was little stopping him.

“What sorry, can’t hear you?” Wade mouthed to him. He glanced at you and shrugged his shoulders.

Cable’s eyes narrowed at you, “You don’t even fucking like dubstep.”

While most of your feelings towards him were purely innocent, you could not help the occasional urge you felt to yield to Cable’s undeniable charms. He was an older man and, for reasons you could not explain, that in itself was a very attractive trait. He was experienced, seasoned—both with life and women. The man knew how to turn on the charm in an instant. Sometimes he would speak in subtle innuendos and double entendres, both of which were followed up with a wink or a mischievous smirk. It was hard to tell whether he did it just to see you squirm or if the advances actually meant something. He was so difficult to read.

“Please, get out of my face before I fight your old ass,” you threatened quietly, sending Cable a menacing glare.

“Real cute,” he chuckled mockingly. When your hand flew up to smack him he caught you by your wrist and yanked you close. His eyes seemed cloudy and he lowered his voice to just above a rasp. “Even if you tried, you couldn’t take me on, kid. I’m too big.”

He laughed heartily when he saw your wide-eyed expression.

Maybe you would have tried to take him on...if only he wasn’t so fucking hard to read.